Wide Awake

As a child, I was free from the feeling of impending age and disappointment as I realize that life has happened for too long and I have fallen behind. Like all bright eyed youth I believed that as I studied hard, went through the right motions, followed all the right rules, that life would somehowContinue reading “Wide Awake”

Head In The Clouds

This post is the story of my first mania. It is a continuation of the post called “First Signs” First Signs….I feel sad for my younger self. These were many years of turmoil both internally for me and externally in my home life. This life continued until just after I graduated from high school, thenContinue reading “Head In The Clouds”

First Signs

The first signs that I can piece together are memories of myself as a child being repeatedly told that  I was born difficult. That I came out of the womb strong willed and opinionated (however an infant can be opinionated). In fact, on one of my first t-shirts my mother had imprinted the words “noContinue reading “First Signs”

Piecing it Together

Have you ever tried to think back and piece together how you came to that fateful time in your life where things had just become undeniable. There is, for certain something terribly wrong. Be it a first breakdown, hospitalization, or just you dragging your butt to a doctor throughout the surrounding wreckage of your life?Continue reading “Piecing it Together”

Oh The Meds

The thing about Bipolar Disorder is that to maintain any sort of stability at all there is this complex dance between your meds and you. On an upswing, slight medication adjustment, downswing, another, feeling great so not too sure you need meds anymore, self diagnosis of cured and no meds at all, leading us toContinue reading “Oh The Meds”

Day 2 at the Gym

Well, well, that was hell. You know, nobody said this would be easy. You know that feeling when you are at home and you know you have to get to the gym but you just feel like a ton of bricks. Then, you get started with your workout and things start to feel a littleContinue reading “Day 2 at the Gym”

My Rainy Day

I say this is my rainy day because of the fading but lingering depression that just won’t seem to bugger off! It is like an elephant is getting a free piggy-back ride and not paying the fee. I am dragging myself through the motions of necessary daily tasks, conversation, being awake, and of all days today,Continue reading “My Rainy Day”

Decluttered and Reset

I’ve done it! All obsolete emails, gone. All unfinished blogs and unused accounts, gone. I have chosen a focus, I’m not sure why I didn’t think about this before. I have always had a love of fitness, well, in between bouts of depression. This blog is a great way to keep me motivated and accountable.Continue reading “Decluttered and Reset”

A Step Back

This whole purging of abandoned blogs, accounts and other membership type stuff is quite exhausting. I’ve decided to take an intermediate step. I generally get email from all of these different accounts, so I have decided to note them all down, get all the passwords, emails and usernames associated and as I do so, deleteContinue reading “A Step Back”