Grasping at Worlds

Grasping at Worlds Wait, please wait oh, where are you? I see you as I look away don’t leave so soon I can all but just recall a distant place I know so well, but not at all Where am I there familiar strange Was it this life? or dreams of day For an instantContinue reading “Grasping at Worlds”

This Is All I Got For Now

Wow, it has been a really long time and a lot of really awful things have happened since I was regularly posting here. For the past 5 months or so I have spent varying amounts of time staring at this computer screen. Each time there is so much that I want to fill you inContinue reading “This Is All I Got For Now”

Beautiful Ugly

This is the most personal post I have written. It may sound sappy to some. I hope not, because I am putting myself out there right now. I’m hoping somebody will connect. Beautiful isn’t pretty. I don’t usually share this part of my life with anyone, well, ever. It is about addiction. This time IContinue reading “Beautiful Ugly”

My Bittersweet Bipolar

It is difficult to live with Bipolar Disorder. It has taken many years since my diagnosis to find the proper medical care, treatment and medication to finally get a handle on it. At least I can now recognize and manage what I see happening, unlike never knowing what is going on with me, living anContinue reading “My Bittersweet Bipolar”

What the bleep was that all about?

This week that has just passed was unbelievable. It was like anxiety was an entity that came into my apartment and curled up into a knot in my stomach. It was totally unexpected. The week before I had been feeling great. I had been to the gym every day, my medication seemed to be workingContinue reading “What the bleep was that all about?”

Smile? Not for 8 bucks an hour I won’t!

It was happening, it was one of those days, one of those moods. I began to get hot, things were ringing up as wrong prices, people were waiting while I tried to get things worked out, waiting for managers to fix the system. Customers getting impatient in line, staring at me work. I started toContinue reading “Smile? Not for 8 bucks an hour I won’t!”

I think he’s like, bipolar or something…

I wanted to write this evening about something that has stuck in my mind for a long time. There were two incidences, several years apart, but they are very similar. They are both examples of stigma and how uninformed many people are about mental illness. Both occurred where I was working at the time, andContinue reading “I think he’s like, bipolar or something…”

Depression ~ My Perspective

Depression and laziness are not the same thing. ~BPScorpio I am coming out of a severe depression that has lasted for almost an entire year. It began to subside, slowly, about three months ago. When I say slowly I mean, I could start to remember what I did the day before, dates, appointments. I couldContinue reading “Depression ~ My Perspective”

Just Shag It

It is really late right now. I have been fighting really hard for a long time. Fighting to be positive, to grow through self improvement, meditation, healthy lifestyle, blah, blah, blah. I feel worn down right now. I should be in bed, I should have gone to the gym, why was I so tired toContinue reading “Just Shag It”