Well, well, that was hell. You know, nobody said this would be easy. You know that feeling when you are at home and you know you have to get to the gym but you just feel like a ton of bricks. Then, you get started with your workout and things start to feel a little better, bit by bit until you feel like you can conquer the world? That isn’t happening to me anymore. Maybe it is because I let myself go so bad and I have to rebuild my strength, because I tell you, I felt like a ton of bricks the whole way through! It is frustrating to go from being highly fit to unfit and then start all over again. I am frustrated with myself, but I will not beat myself up. I’m not sure if anybody has suffered severe depression before, but I think the tail end of that last episode is dragging on me. The only thing left to do is to blow through it. Eventually fitness will win out and I will be back baby back. Sticking with the plan sam!

Anybody else out there ever feel this way? Ever suffered a depression?

I am not sure about anything but amazed by everything. I struggle with erratic moods. I don't know if it is a disorder, a gift, or a little bit of both, but I am going to try to embrace them, let myself feel them, and hopefully come out wiser on the other side.

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